What happens when you ask for help with an erection lasting more than 4 hours?

by John Mills on July 13, 2013  http://funstuffpeoplesendme.wordpress.com/

Bob walked into a drug store in Kentucky and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the only pharmacist and as she and her sister owned the store, there were no male employees. She then asked if she could help him.  Bob said that it was something that he would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist. The lady pharmacist assured him that she was completely professional and whatever it was that he needed to discuss, he could be confident that she would treat him with a high level of professionalism.

Bob then agreed and began by saying, ‘This is tough for me to discuss, but, I get erections every day that last more than four hours. It causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment, and I was wondering what you could give me for it.’

The pharmacist said, “Just a minute, I’ll talk to my sister..”

When she returned, she said, “We discussed it at length and this is the absolute best we can do. 1/3 ownership in the store, a company pickup truck, a king size bed and $3,000 per month in living expenses.

RECTUM STRETCHER‏

 

by John Mills on July 17, 2013   http://funstuffpeoplesendme.wordpress.com/

While she was “flying” down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge, only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked,”What’s your hurry?”To which she replied, “I’m late for work.”

Oh yeah,” said the cop, “what do you do?”

I’m a rectum stretcher,” she responded.

The cop stammered, “A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?”

“Well,” she said, “I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it’s about 6 feet wide.”

“And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole? “he asked.

“You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge…”

Traffic Ticket – $95.00
Court Costs – $45.00
Look on the Cop’s Face … PRICELESS.