Monthly Archives: July 2013
Bits and Pieces: July, 2013
The Light at the End of the Tunnel :-
I thought I saw a light at the end of the tunnel, but it was only some bastard with a torch bringing me more work!
Another Week Ends :-
All targets met
All customers satisfied
All systems fully operational
All staff keen and well motivated
All pigs fed and ready to fly.
We the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much with so little for so long, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.
The Facts of Life :-
This is the story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody:
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.
Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job.
Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realised that Everybody wouldn’t do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody, when Nobody did what Anybody could of done.
So you want the day off :-
Lets take a look at what you are asking for :-
There are 365 days in the year available for work.
There are 52 weeks in the year, in which you already have two days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work.
Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available.
You spend 50 minutes each day in coffee breaks which accounts for 25 days per year, leaving only 68 days available.
With 1 hour lunch period each day, you have used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.
You normally spend two days per year on sick leave.
This leaves only 20 days available for work.
We are off for 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days.
We generously give you 14 days vacation per year, which leaves only 1 day available for work, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you take that day off.
Andrew Phillip Chernoff 